Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Shut Down Before the Breakdown

Although, I may not regret my actions, there are some issues/events I would love to have handled differently. I've learned that I cannot and will not please everyone.

In the past, I wanted to solve everyone's problem; be the bridge between every dispute, caress every ailment, kiss every forehead. The result was fatigue, frustration, and sometimes illness. Burning your candle at both ends leads to an unfulfilled "no man's land". I cringe from calling it a "the savior complex" because it gave more stress than joy. But it was superhuman and irrational thinking nonetheless.

We as human beings have enough work to do trying to get our lives in order. If you are a parent, caregiver, spouse you know the importance of a timeout. You can get your wits together or think of something worse to do, but the pause, is necessary. The best business men know the meaning of R and R, we should learn it too. This does not mean I am encouraging a week of debauchery that you can chalk up to "burnout".

When I begin to respond to daily stimuli like it's a migraine, I know I've had enough. I become snippy, intolerant, and too serious to appreciate or comprehend jokes. I often turn my office light off and allow the outside light from my window to illuminate the room. People may joke, but they realize when I don't take the bait, it is time to back away from the vehicle...beep...beep...beep.

Sometimes it's a walk in NYC, a prayer and meditation or a "mental sanity" day off. Maybe a day-cation or curling up to a good book. I have mastered the art of shut down when necessary. For me that means Social Media Block out too. Once the clouds have dissipated and my glow is back I survey the scene. I decide what, if anything to say YES to and if the answer is NO, I make no qualms about being unavailable or unreachable.

Self preservation is crucial to helping others. Just like the flight attendant who tells you to put your mask on first, if you cannot breathe, you are no good to anyone else.

1 comment:

  1. And I thought I was the only one. That was a very good read, and it is therapeutic to know that I wasn't the only one struggling with this. I just pray that my girlfriend learns the same. Maybe that's why God brought us together, for me to learn on my own, then teach her. Good uses us for miracles, and that's is the way to save others. One important person at a time. ;)

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